PETER SAGAL, Host:
Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have sixty seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?
CARL KASELL, Host:
Peter Grosz has the lead, Peter, he has four points. Roxanne Roberts and Tom Bodett, they're tied for second. They both have three points.
SAGAL: All right. We flipped a coin. Tom has elected to go first. Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. A tsunami warning was issued briefly after a 7.4 magnitude earthquake hit Thursday off the coast of blank.
TOM BODETT: Japan.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: A security breach at the online marketing firm Epsilon allowed hackers to steal millions of customer blanks.
BODETT: Email addresses.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: In what some consider the worst NCAA Championship game of all time, blank beat Butler 53-41.
BODETT: Connecticut.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Weather forecasters predict that this year's blank season will be stronger than average.
BODETT: Hurricane.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Daschund enthusiasts were overjoyed at the opening of the online store blank.
BODETT: Weiner dog wear.
SAGAL: No, Petmyweiner.com.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: When his contract with Fox News expires at the end of the year, blank announced he will leave the network.
BODETT: Glenn Beck.
SAGAL: Exactly right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: "Dancing with the Stars" dancer Max Chmerkovskiy apologized on Tuesday for blanking during Monday's show.
BODETT: I missed that episode. Cussing.
SAGAL: No, for dropping Kirstie Alley.
BODETT: Oh.
SAGAL: A carjacker in Canada stole a delivery van not realizing it contained blank.
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
BODETT: Police.
SAGAL: No, 500 pounds of dirty diapers.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Note to criminals everywhere: if they don't have dollar signs on them, they are not sacks of cash.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Despite the driver telling him he really, really didn't want to steal this particular van, the carjacker zoomed off, his one second of triumph followed by a good ten minutes of, oh God, is that me?
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Carl, how did Tom do on our quiz?
KASELL: Tom had five correct answers, for ten more points. He now has thirteen points, and Tom has the lead.
SAGAL: All right, well done.
BODETT: It's not enough.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Roxanne, you are up next. Here we go; fill in the blank. In a reversal, Attorney General Eric Holder announced that the plotters behind the blank attacks would be tried in military, not civilian court.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: The 9/11.
SAGAL: Yeah, 9/11, right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: After just nine minutes and fifty seconds, the trial of Italian prime minister blank was adjourned until May 31.
ROBERTS: Berlusconi.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: The AP reports the Department of Homeland Security is planning to use Facebook and blank to issue terror alert warnings.
ROBERTS: Twitter.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: With more than two thirds of the vote, Michel Martelly, also known as Sweet Micky, was elected the new president of blank.
ROBERTS: Haiti.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: At the Masters, Golfer Aaron Baddeley chose not to play it where it laid when his golf ball landed in blank.
ROBERTS: In a lady's lap.
SAGAL: Exactly right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Voice actors from across the country flocked to audition to become the new voice of blank's spokes duck.
ROBERTS: AFLAC.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On the first stop of his Torpedo of Truth tour in Detroit, audience members booed at blank and left in droves.
ROBERTS: Charlie Sheen.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Parents at an elementary school in Virginia were surprised when a plastic surgeon visiting for career day blanked.
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
ROBERTS: He brought silicon breast implants.
SAGAL: To show and tell, exactly right.
ROBERTS: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The students were supposed to be learning about what it's like to be a plastic surgeon, but no one ever thought he'd bring props.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The school had no official comment, but the teacher did say that next year she'll ask the surgeon not to start his speech by squeezing the implant and making "honk honk" noises.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right, Carl, how well did Roxanne do on our quiz?
KASELL: Very, very well, Peter. Eight correct answers, sixteen more points. She now has nineteen points and the lead.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Well done. That was pretty impressive.
BODETT: Why do we bother, Peter?
SAGAL: So how many then does Peter need to win?
KASELL: Eight correct answers.
SAGAL: Eight correct. Here we go, Peter.
PETER GROSZ: And there's forty questions?
SAGAL: There are forty questions. Here we go. This is for the game, Peter. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Moammar Gadhafi sent a letter to President Obama asking him to stop the attack on blank.
GROSZ: Libya.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Battles broke out after the ousted incumbent president of blank refused to give up power.
GROSZ: The Ivory Coast.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Workers in Japan finally plugged the radioactive water leak at the blank in Fukushima.
GROSZ: Nuclear power plant.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, the AP reported that when her contract with the CBS Evening News is up in June, blank will likely leave.
GROSZ: Katie Couric.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Police on the lookout for a bearded New Jersey man who stole 658 dollars in razors say the suspect may blank.
GROSZ: He may blank? Oh, he may shave his beard.
SAGAL: Exactly right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The hard fought race for a judicial seat in Wisconsin went for the Republican incumbent when the state announced blank.
GROSZ: A recount?
SAGAL: No. When it announced it had forgotten to count the votes from an entire city.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Rutgers University was criticized for paying Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison less for a speaking engagement than it paid blank.
GROSZ: Mario Batali.
SAGAL: Snooki.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: A 75-year-old woman in the country of Georgia accidentally blanked when she was digging a hole.
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
GROSZ: Accidentally dug all the way to China.
SAGAL: No. She accidentally cut off the internet for the entire country of Armenia.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: As well as parts of Georgia and Azerbaijan. Oops. The elderly woman was out...
GROSZ: What was she planting?
SAGAL: No, she was out looking for copper wires buried. She was scavenging and apparently her shovel hit the most wrong wire possible.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: But on the bright side, during the half a day they didn't have the internet , Armenians were able to reconnect emotionally with their loved ones, lose weight, write the novels they always were thinking about, cure cancer, and send a space ship to claim Mars for Armenia. Then some idiot plugged it back in.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Carl, did Peter do well enough to win?
KASELL: He needed eight correct answers, but Peter had just five correct answers.
SAGAL: Oh my goodness.
KASELL: So with nineteen point, Roxanne Roberts is this week's champion.
SAGAL: There you go.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)
BODETT: Good job.
SAGAL: Well done, Roxanne. That was pretty impressive.
ROBERTS: They have to wear boxers on their heads now.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
BODETT: Fun.
SAGAL: In just a minute we're going to ask our panelists that when Donald Trump finally declare himself for president, what his campaign slogan will be. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
