C: how to treat a jellyfish sting without embarrassing yourself. That's at how-to-do-everything.org.
Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!
M: Hi, this is Corey from Wixom, Michigan.
: Wixom?
M: Yes.
: Wixom, Michigan. Where is Wixom?
M: It's about 30 miles west of Detroit.
: Okay. Wixom sounds like an adjective used to describe a woman you're fond of. Oh, she's so wixom. She's a wixom lass.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
: What do you do there?
M: I actually work for a large pizza chain in quality assurance.
: Wait a minute, you work...
M: Quality assurance.
: Quality, like Domino's, like that, one of those big companies?
M: Oh, it's one of them.
: One of them, a different one. You work for a different one. But so you're the person in charge of making sure the pizza is good.
M: Yes.
: OK.
M: How do you do that?
M: We actually have a chemistry lab.
: Oh, that's comforting.
M: Wow.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
: Corey, welcome to the show. Carl Kasell, right now, is going to perform for you three news-related limericks, with the last word or phrase missing from each. Complete two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Ready to go?
M: I'm ready.
: Here's your first limerick.
CARL KASELL, Host:
We firemen help those old and frail, and for pets, many ladders we scale. We'll climb your house walls for beasts great and small. Yes, even a wee slimy...
M: Snail.
: Yes, indeed.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)
: Emergency fire services in Britain are being criticized for spending millions of taxpayer money on non-emergency services. For example, sending a Welsh fire department to rescue a small snail stuck to a wall.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
M: No.
: In firefighters' defense, the snail was pretty high up, and it looked scared.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
: Certainly, the elderly woman who called them in was concerned about it.
M: OK, well, what did they do with the snail after they got it?
M: They ate it.
: No...
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
M: I don't know. Presumably, they placed it gently on the ground. Maybe they brought it to a little snail hospital in a snail ambulance. All right, here is your next limerick.
KASELL: When I'm online, it won't do to yell. I'm a teen who lives in his own shell. But don't take it away. Anything I will pay. I'll trade wifi for my sense of?
M: Smell.
: Smell, yes, very good.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
: A group of researchers have found that 53 percent of young people aged 16 to 30 would rather give up their sense of smell than their smart phones or Twitter accounts.
M: Wow.
: To quote one of the researchers: Young people utilize technology as a kind of super-sense, which connects them to infinite knowledge, friends and entertainment opportunities, unquote. OK, maybe it's that. Maybe it's that kids' noses have already all been destroyed by od'ing on Axe body spray.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
M: Oh my God, yes.
M: I know. I was going to say, I have teenagers at home and I'd trade, too.
: Yeah.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)
: Here is your last limerick.
KASELL: Our gorilla's well-mannered now, ain't he? With a napkin, he dabs his lips quaintly. Peels bananas for me, lifts his pinky for tea. Yes, his food manners are rather...
M: Dainty.
: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
: According to new research from Scotland, gorillas have excellent table manners. Gorillas there were observed carefully stripping and folding leaves before quote, tidily popping them into their mouths. While none so far have been spotted using knives and forks, one alpha male was seen primly tucking a big napkin into his sweater vest before eating his own poop.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
: And yes, in case you were wondering, this is really NPR. There you are.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)
: Carl, how did Corey do on our quiz?
KASELL: Corey had a perfect game, Peter, three correct answers. Corey, you win our prize.
: Well done, all right.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)
: Thank you so much, Corey.
M: Thank you.
: Bye-bye now.
M: Bye. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.