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Limericks

PETER SAGAL, Host:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924 or you can click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, and our June 30th show in Nashville, Tennessee. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

ASHLEY BRYANT: Hi, this is Ashley Bryant. I'm calling from Carrollton, Texas.

SAGAL: Hey, how are things in Carrollton?

BRYANT: It's beautiful here.

SAGAL: I know. It's a beautiful week. Everybody's having a good time wherever they are. That's nice to hear. What do you do there in Carrollton?

BRYANT: I'm an administrative assistant at one of the largest adult beverage distributors in the south.

SAGAL: Oh wow.

MO ROCCA: What's an adult beverage?

BRYANT: Wine, spirits.

ROCCA: Oh, okay.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BRYANT: Beer.

SAGAL: Wow.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

LUKE BURBANK: Or, as I call it, medicine.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well Ashley, welcome to the show. Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks. Your job, of course, complete them. Say that last word or phrase. Do that two times out of three, you'll win our prize. Ready to go?

BRYANT: Yes, I am.

SAGAL: All right. Here's your first limerick.

CARL KASELL, Host:

The Army is shouting hurray. We'll adapt to headwear of today. Got a slick patrol cap and no more faux French crap. We're tossing away the?

BRYANT: Beret.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Nothing tells the would you're a lethal fighting machine like wearing the same hat as Salvador Dali. But the U.S. Army has decided to stop issuing berets. Soldiers have complained about them since they were introduced Army- wide in 2001, back when they were still known as Freedom Hats.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The Army is now looking for something more intimidating than a beret, which would include any hat ever invented.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Including a mariachi sombrero or a yarmulke knitted by your Jewish aunt in Boca.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FAITH SALIE: The berets cost eleven dollars each and they're being replaced by just service caps, which are six bucks.

SAGAL: Yeah.

SALIE: Why would a beret cost eleven dollars?

BURBANK: They're buying them in the back of the New Yorker.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: A courthouse should have some more class, but we peer up the robes as they pass. They can't miss our glares as they go up the stairs, because each step's made of clear, see-through?

BRYANT: Glass.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the new 105 million dollar courthouse in Franklin, Ohio opened and many aren't happy about the glass staircase, especially people who have to walk it wearing skirts.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They're considering changing the design, but for not they're just hoping people will be mature and not stand under it.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And look up. To that, Judge Julie Lynch at the courthouse says, "If we had mature people that didn't violate the law, we wouldn't have this building."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

ROCCA: That's funny.

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KASELL: Though my body is far below par, on the road I still feel like a star. My health in decline, but motor runs fine, because I take good care of my?

BRYANT: Car.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a recent study by Men's Health Network, seventy percent of American men said they find it easier to care for their car's health than their own health. And many are more likely to get their car repaired than get themselves repaired. It seems crazy, self-defeating. But if you've ever had your own oil changed, you'd understand.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: It's the dipstick that is so uncomfortable.

SAGAL: Yeah, really.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Ashley do?

KASELL: Very well, Peter. Ashley, you had three correct answers, so you win our prize.

SAGAL: Well done.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: We'll think of you the next time we're drinking in Texas. Thank you so much, Ashley.

BRYANT: Thank you. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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