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Panel Round Two

(Soundbite of music)

CARL KASELL, host:

From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Tom Bodett, Faith Salie, and Adam Felber.

And, here again is your host, at the North Charleston Performing Arts Center in South Carolina, Peter Sagal.

(Soundbite of cheering)

(Soundbite of applause)

PETER SAGAL, host:

Thank you, Carl. Thank you everybody. In just a minute, Carl brings the noise and brings the rhyme in our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.

Adam, having successfully raided Osama bin Laden's hideaway, the Navy Team Six has now defeated yet another dangerous enemy. Who?

Mr. ADAM FELBER (Writer, "Real Time with Bill Maher"): An actual seal.

(Soundbite of laughter)

(Soundbite of mimicked seal)

SAGAL: No.

Mr. FELBER: Evil seal.

SAGAL: No. Not an evil seal.

Ms. FAITH SALIE (Contributor, "CBS Sunday Morning"): It...

SAGAL: Yes, they defeated Disney.

(Soundbite of bell)

Mr. FELBER: Man, they are bad.

SAGAL: They are bad.

(Soundbite of applause)

Mr. FELBER: Oh.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: There were rumors that later turned out to be false that Mickey tried to shield himself with Minnie Mouse. But no. No, no, no.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Just a day or so after the raid on Bin Laden's Compound, Disney sent its crack team of lawyers on a daring midnight raid to trademark the term Seal Team Six by them for using everything from feature films to and this is true to snow globes.

Mr. FELBER: Yeah.

SAGAL: ...and amusement park attractions. What would a Seal Team Six ride be like? Sort of like the "It's a Small World" boat ride, except you shoot all the animatronic figurines and then dump them in the water.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. FELBER: In the movie it would've been exactly like what happened except Seal Team Six would have been a lovable bunch of ragamuffins coached by Emilio Estevez.

SAGAL: Exactly.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Adam, the Harry Potter movies got dark, because they went on Batman and even Willa Wonka were remade in very dark, bleak versions. Yet another childhood favorite is getting re-imagined as a brooding epic filled with menace. It'll be based on what?

Mr. FELBER: "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang."

SAGAL: No.

Mr. FELBER: Already got guns in it.

SAGAL: No.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. FELBER: "Pippi Longstocking."

SAGAL: No.

Mr. FELBER: No. no. no. no. I've got this. Don't tell me. "The Cat In The Hat Comes Back."

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. FELBER: Hold on, Peter. Hold on. It's, can you give me a hint?

SAGAL: It's, well, it's not a book. In the climactic battle, Minnie will die at Gum Drop Mountain.

Mr. FELBER: "Candy Land."

SAGAL: Yes. Candy Land.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: In the words of the director of the proposed "Candy Land" movie, quote, "we envision it as Lord Of The Rings, but set in a world made entirely of candy."

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. FELBER: Yeah. So it's...

SAGAL: So instead of trying to destroy a tremendously powerful weapon while avoiding an army of pure evil, we'll assume the hero will try to devour a mountain of gum drops while avoiding his dentist.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. FELBER: Is this movie going to go on endlessly, like the game?

(Soundbite of laughter)

(Soundbite of applause)

SAGAL: Them are the longest hours of my life I've been spending on "Candy Land" board.

Mr. FELBER: Look, you can get trapped in that game literally for a weekend.

SAGAL: Yeah. 'cause you're almost out, and then you pull the damn thing that sends you back to the beginning.

Mr. FELBER: Yes.

SAGAL: And your toddler is like so thrilled.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. FELBER: Well, it's going to be back, but with Johnny Depp.

SAGAL: Right.

(Soundbite of laughter)

(Soundbite of applause)

SAGAL: Tom, a spacewalk on the second to last Shuttle mission almost had to be aborted when what happened to the astronaut?

Mr. TOM BODETT (Author and Humorist): Oh, he got something in his eye.

SAGAL: He got what in his eye?

Mr. BODETT: He got a - I don't know.

SAGAL: Well, he never should have tried to shampoo in a weightless environment.

Mr. BODETT: A piece of hair in his eye. No.

SAGAL: No.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. BODETT: A piece of soap.

SAGAL: he got soap in his eye.

(Soundbite of laughter)

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: The American Astronaut...

Mr. BODETT: On a space walk?

SAGAL: Yes. It's a funny thing. He was in his fifth hour of this spacewalk. He was doing some...

Mr. BODETT: I thought they shampooed inside the shuttle.

SAGAL: Oh, no.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. BODETT: They don't have indoor plumbing on the shooting.

SAGAL: No.

Mr. BODETT: They go out for that.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. BODETT: I didn't know this.

Mr. FELBER: Yes. The shuttle has an outhouse. That's why we discontinued the program.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Well, it is, when you think about it, it is 70s technology.

Mr. FELBER: Yeah.

SAGAL: So, you know, he got the - eventually got it. it was crazy. He had soap in his eye. It was a tough day in your Earth orbit. First, the astronaut close the airlock in his finger. And then he was so distracted he did three orbits, you know, with his left blinker on the whole way.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: And then, you know, he dealt with the soap in his eye. He used a high tech instrument Naas called a paper towel, and then, you know, he thought he was cool, he finished the job, he thought he looked good on national TV and then he went back inside only to discover he had done the whole space walk, five feet of toilet paper hanging off his boot.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Ms. SALIE: That's embarrassing.

Mr. FELBER: Worst situation to leave your fly open too.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. FELBER: Terrible. Terrible.

Mr. BODETT: Like you know how those, you know, you know you here their dialogue between Command Control and the Shuttle and the astronauts is always so crisp. Did they play that? Did we hear that at all that?

Ms. SALIE: It was transcribed. I read a report.

SAGAL: Yeah. Right.

Ms. SALIE: He was talking to his colleague.

Mr. BODETT: Yeah. Like Houston...

(Soundbite of noise)

Mr. BODETT: I got soap in my eye.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Yeah.

Mr. BODETT: Come again.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: There you go.

Mr. FELBER: At least now we know that...

(Soundbite of noise)

Mr. FELBER: ...is between talking, it's the shower.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(Soundbite of laughter) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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